How often do you self-sabotage?
You feel as if everything is on top of you. You’re struggling to cope and the best thing you’ve learned to do is to lash out.
Sometimes, you don’t even have to feel overwhelmed. Lashing out or self-sabotaging can just be a type of coping mechanism,
Another reason you might self-sabotage is because of fear.
Fear of the unknown can often be a trigger factor, and at times we use the fear of rejection to self-sabotage an idea or opportunity.
Would you say any of those negative emotions could be your thoughts?
Negative Emotions
How often do you use those emotions, thoughts, and feelings as an excuse to self-destruct?
Which one of the following applies to you?
Drinking excessively
- Drinking excessively
- Binge-eating
- Promiscuous sexual activity
Even though you are in that destructive mood, you are crying out and hoping that someone can spot the signs and reach out to help you.
So that you can just stop!
You just want to stop all these negative thoughts
You just need to be noticed
You want someone to tell you that you do matter!
Repeated Pattern of Behaviour
These thoughts and repeated patterns of behaviours are known as self-defeating behaviour
Most times you learn this behaviour during your childhood
You watch your caregivers and see their coping mechanism
And you believe that is the best way to cope
Most times, you adopt and internalise these negative behaviour, and they become your life script
Professional Help Is At Hand
I know that you can’t stop all on your own
The critical thing to note, however, is that these behaviour are not permanent
With professional help, you can overcome
With the given tools, you will break free
And you can go on to start living a positive life that is free from your negative past
Still Stuck in the past
It is so frustrating we feel or see that we are stuck in one place
We try so many things to break free
But yet other opposing forces keep drawing us back to where we are trying to flee
Please don’t be discouraged and think that you are unable to break free from this negative cycle
Once you start thinking positively and using a change
The world can be your oyster
You just need to want to see that change
You need to be able to visualise the life that you desire
Losing Close Friends
Several years ago, I was in a self-destruct mode
I was not even aware that was happening to me.
I was lashing out without realising that I was doing it
It was always an uncomfortable environment wherever I was
I started to lose my close friends
My family members were tip-toeing all around me
Worried that they may say the wrong thing to upset me
I used every opportunity to lash out in anger
It was the only way that I could cope with what had happened to me
Present Reflection
Looking back today, I hardly recognised the person that I was, but after seeking professional assistance, I received the help that was needed
This helped me to confront the cause of my anger after which I started to visualise the life that I wanted.
When you are in that frame of mind and in a challenging situation, it isn’t easy to see the end of your mental road.
It would also seem like everywhere you look will seem bleak and dark.
There will be fog and darkness around in your mind which can represent darkness and hopelessness. in which you feel a sense of doom and gloom and the feeling of constantly feeling trapped.
Breaking Free
Many women are walking around in self-destruction mode, unable to help themself
But still having the desire to be free and still not knowing how
These four things help me, and now they can help you too.
As long as you are open to giving them a try, you too can break free from this self-sabotaging cycle.
1. Recognise The Signs
It is essential to listen to close friends and family members around you.
Observe your behaviour and write them down if possible.
Sometimes when you are in that frame of mind, your judgement is often impaired
And you constantly find yourself making excuses or going into denial mode.
2. Know The Triggers
When you eventually reach the stage where you are observing, you are not acting like your usual self.
It is time for you to take complete control and think about the many and varied reasons you act out of character.
You need to ask yourself soul-searching questions and try to get answers to what your triggers might be.
It would be beneficial if you would write down the particular triggers and the associated responsive behaviour
This questioning will help you create a better picture and hopefully help you make sense of what is happening.Â
Seek Professional Help
Accepting that there was a problem and getting professional help was the first step in the direction of my healing
Now that you are at this stage, this also can be your first positive sign
Talking to professionals who are experts at what you are experiencing is an excellent way for you to admit that you have a problem
Now that you have made this decision, it is best to continue to be honest and open to improving your chances of recovery
4. Visualisation Of The Future
This stage was the most beneficial for me at that time.
It was a pleasure to see that I could finally visualise what I wanted to be and do in life.
It was so lovely to see that my thoughts were no longer of hopelessness and darkness.Â
The fog and darkness were slowly clearing away.
Although it was not an overnight fixing solution, with evidence-based tools,
I could see my future much more straightforwardly than I did before.
Final Thoughts
Sometimes we may think that our situation is the worst and that we are beyond getting help
I hope that this article will help you to see that you are special and unique in all that we do
It is essential to listen to others who are close to us
And use their observations to get the help we truly deserve
We were never born to be isolated and alone.
We all are important and deserve to lead a happy life
It will take some time for that to happen
But when we do, it will be the start of a new beginning
The start to our life that we never thought that we could have.
