How does one rebuild their self-esteem after a traumatic relationship? This can be a very long and painful process but with time and the right mindset and tools, it can be done.
In this article, I will talk about the various steps that are involved in rebuilding self-esteem after experiencing trauma in a relationship.
If you are struggling with low self-esteem, I will give you 5 practical tips to guide you and help you how to learn and value yourself again.
Five Ways To Rebuild Your Self-Esteem After A Traumatic Relationship?
Acknowledge Your Feelings
When you admit or accept your feelings then you will start to rebuild your self-esteem. This is one of the most important steps but still the most painful.
At this time it is okay to scream, shout or cry openly with relief.
Although the relationship has now ended, the pain is still raw and your emotions are all over the place.
Guilt and shame may be two of the biggest emotions that you are now experiencing.
It is okay to let your emotions flow, there will be time to make sense of each emotion, but for now, let your emotions flow freely without judging yourself.
Develop Healthy Coping Strategies
The main focus here is you, what you have been through and how you are now coping.
I know it is so easy now to use past negative coping mechanisms to help you to get true to this but pressing the self-destruct button is not helpful, especially at this time.
Now is the time to think about your inner strengths and how you coped brilliantly in the past. Look at what worked and the positive outcome that you had.
- Write down a list of your strengths and positive character traits
- Try to distract yourself by engaging in mindful activities such as exercise
- Detach yourself from the present situation and try to assume a nonchalant attitude
- If you frequently used to self-sabotage, remind yourself of how far you’ve come and how well you are doing now
- Above all, tell yourself that you are not to be blamed for this happening to you and it is not your fault
Rebuild Self-Esteem by Challenging Negative Thoughts
Telling yourself that it was not your fault that the traumatic relationship can be challenging in itself. You may have feelings of guilt as you continue to blame yourself for all that has happened,
It is important to rebuild your self-esteem by speaking positively to yourself whenever you feel guilty about your past relationship.
Using positive affirmations either by quotes, or positive literature can be one of the steps you take to go forward in rebuilding your self-esteem
Having supportive friends and families around is also essential in you distracting yourself from any negativity
Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes professional help is needed to help you cope with the after-effects of dealing with a traumatic relationship.
With all the pressures of past relationships, a therapist, coach or counsellor is necessary at this time to guide you on the road to recovery to build your self-esteem.
Therapeutic techniques such as Emotional Freedom Technique or EMDR therapy can help you move forward by teaching you have proven therapeutic skills and strategies.
Having a professional to talk to will help you to feel less alone and more vital to face the after-effects of a traumatic relationship.
Focus on the Future
Putting the above steps in place will enable you to rebuild your self-esteem and be in a better position to focus on the future.
You can start by making short-term goals that are achievable and will also help you boost your confidence and make you feel a sense of accomplishment.
Celebrating your small wins will also help you to focus on your future.
You can treat yourself by reaching your milestones by practising self-care such as giving yourself a manicure, small clothes shopping or even a relaxing day out,
These small steps will help to improve the way you are feeling about yourself and give you positive things to think about as well as help you to monitor your personal growth and development.
Final Thoughts
Yes, it will be a long process, however, there are proven strategies that the outcome of this journey can be positive.
The most important thing to remember is that it will take time and you need to be compassionate and patient with yourself on this journey.
Use your support network when you feel that you are struggling and need some assistance.
Don’t overlook or discard your small wins, because these victories are the things that will build you up on your not do good days and improve your self-esteem and confidence along the way.
It is possible to rebuild your self-esteem and change your life script.
